god exists in a small box:
‘Just the tip, it won’t hurt you’, you said as you insert into her at once.
You did not know how it hurts since it’s your first time, but you do not care, you do not mind if she shouts, scream, or pull out loud, as the walls could vibrate at their feet, and feel the gravity of your emotions dragging with steady motion. She never wanted to come over—but you wanted her to come, and it was her first time too. Your friends do tell you how sweet it could be, how melting it could entice when you’re onto her. You’re a church boy—like they do call you. Your father always tell you, run away from anything sinful. But you’re 18years of age, and that shows you could do things at your own pace. Nobody cares what happens, the most important thing is as long as you’re happy with it.
‘Stop!’, she exclaimed. But you didn’t stop. You were still enjoying how she was pouring out onto you, hearing her scream your name into tiny beat of bars blasting into your ears heavily, you wanted more, and more. Your friends told you how sweet this could be, and to always man up anytime she is onto you. You never wanted to disappoints. But then, your father’s warning still kept on blasting in your ears, with multiple scriptures.
‘sin is death, sin is pain, sin is fear, sin is—‘
But you kept on with her until she couldn’t breathe anymore. You noticed her body could no longer feel soft, or touchy. You did not want to assume what came into your mind, you tried to carry her, her body—stiff like a rock—heavy as sadness.
You wanted to burst into tears, but you couldn’t find the words, you couldn’t find the tears. You traced your left hand to your phone under the pillow, you dialed your friends’ numbers: kola, Dayo, and Vincent, nobody picked. You began to sweat under the fan, you could count the stripes on the wall, and watch the fan weave multiple times on you. You’re just not fine, or even balance.
It is 7pm now, since 10am the incident happened, and nobody had reached you, or come to check on you. And now everything father told you is now making meaning to you now.
About the Author:
ADENIRAN, JOSEPH is a student of Bowen University, Iwo, Osun State. Nigeria— poet|author|writer|and a critic to Humanity. His Poem “HOME IN BOTTLES OF FEAR” was shortlisted among the TOP 100 OF THE NIGERIAN STUDENTS POETRY PRIZE in 2018. His Poem “SONGS OF DARK ROOMS” was shortlisted for CHRISTOPHER OKIGBO STUDENTS POETRY PRIZE in 2018. While his Poem “DOOR” was also shortlisted among the TOP 100 OF THE NIGERIAN STUDENTS POETRY PRIZE in 2019. His works have been featured/forthcoming on ACEworld Magazine, Kalahari Review, Parousia Magazine, African Writers, Barren Magazine, 8 poems, and elsewhere. He believes in the power of words — healing. He hails from Oyo, Ibadan. Nigeria.
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