How To Handle Heartbreak Even Before It Happens
I always have one thing in mind, that relationships are meant to break one day, but anyone that makes it to the grand finale (marriage), to God be the glory.
Is it not obvious that many of us have undergone many relationships but we are not married yet? That’s to say most relationships are bound to break.
Now one thing is for sure, when a relationship breaks, one of the parties suffers it most, either the one that broke the news or the one the news was broken to.
Now the thing is, how do you handle such news even before it happens?
Can I tell you that the things paining us most when a heartbreak happens isn’t the person per say but the memories we created with them.
When you remember how he does this and that for you, you always regret, feeling like crying or your mood will just change.
When you remember how you guys used to make it out, the outing, the fun, the romance, and the helping hands, they hurt more than the person in question.
So, to prevent this from taking the better part of you, there are few things you need to do or put at the back of your mind before saying yes or making up your mind to date.
I don’t know if you are aware that most of the faces we show the world might be our mask, the real you in you might be right beneath you. When you expect the best from someone and they don’t live up to the expectation, you are bound to be disappointed big time.
Expectations are like fine pottery, the harder you hold or hit them, the more likely they are to crack.
Blessed are they who aren’t expectant for they shall never be disappointed.
Before you say yes to him, you have been living your life, you have been subscribing, buying dresses and doing other things by yourself one way or the other. Now Why’s it a tradition or culture that your guy will automatically become your ATM machine?
That doesn’t mean you can’t ask for assistance when needed.
Do you know the more you aren’t expectant of anything, the more you prolong your relationship but if at all it comes calling, you wouldn’t have a lot to lose because you dated and loved with zero expectation.
If you labour or work with no expectation of being paid and you weren’t paid, you won’t feel the pain alot but if your mindset was channeled on the payment or wages you were going to recieve, you will feel bad and hurt.
The same thing goes to a relationship. Just love and give what you can afford and when breakup happens, you won’t feel too bad.
Don’t Fight For Feelings:
This is one of the things that come hurting when the sad news is broken. You love them very much that you can do anything for them. You fight for them, you give in your best. In fact, there is nothing within your power that you didn’t do, just to make them see that you love them, just to win their love, just to buy their love.
You don’t need all this my dear. Love is an adventure so, you don’t need to travel or go beyond your capacity. Love is to be felt, don’t force it. When you freely love in the way you can, when the news is broken, it won’t hurt you much.
Don’t give love what you can’t give humanity; this is because you believe they are the right one for you and you give your all in all to them, to make them stay. You can’t give love a chair when it only comes to say hello. Don’t give what you can’t lose because it hurt most. That’s where people lament, saying they were used and dumped. That’s where we hear “after all the things I did for you” and many more.
Don’t fight for love, the love that’s meant for you will not trouble you to the extent of giving you sleepless night. But I don’t mean you shouldn’t fight for your love, true love doesn’t just come but when you find one, protect it with all you have because true love can’t be compared with gold.
In life, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail and if you only plan how to be successful and not how to handle failure, even that success will become a successful failure. You have to be pessimistic as well as you are optimistic.
I am not saying you should be wishing yourself or expecting bad things all the time but you and I know that bad things are bound to come so, how prepared are you? While going to school, we always go with pocket money, knowing something might pop up and demands that will warrant us to spend.
While going to a ceremony, we always break our money into pieces, knowing we are going to spread money. While going to farm, we always go with cutlass even if we don’t need it, knowing a need for it might come or arise. So, how prepared are you? You just have to prepare for the unknown that’s why we have miscellaneous in budget. What’s your own miscellaneous?
I am not saying you should live or pattern your life, waiting for the relationship to break or of sort. Put in your best, love with your head but not with your heart. You aren’t Romeo or Juliet. When you love with your heart, it becomes heart break but when you love with your head, it won’t hurt much because your soul and spirit are situated in your heart, not head.
By now, you should be wise enough to know what is worth fighting for. When your heart is broken, learn the lessons it came with it and move on. Don’t cry out your eyes because if you cry, the love won’t come back and if it does, it’s out of pity and you know what that means.
Remember, I am not saying you shouldn’t fall inlove or be in a relationship because they are all bound to break.
Their are relationships that made it to the grand finale, you can make yours crest that apogee.
Don’t fear love or afraid to love, because I have said they are bound to end in heart break. You can make the difference, you can make your one relationship an embodiment of emulation. If you keep running from love affairs and relationship, how will you get to marry or do you want to become a Rev. Father or Sister?
But above all, don’t be a prisoner to the love that left.
Till I cross your path again-
I hang my pen 🖋
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