THE GIANT PEN GROUP DISCUSSION
TOPIC: WHO CAUSES BREAK-UP/HEARTBREAK MOST IN A RELATIONSHIP: LADIES OR MEN?
ANCHOR MAN: ZIM
Zim: I think Ladies are always prone to file breakup especially when the guy isn’t making them happy monetarily.
Zim: I had loved this pulchritude and embonpoint young lady I met at the lift around Elephant Building, Island.
We got on each other and started things. I became so sincere and opened up to her about my ways and how I hope on God to bless my pocket soon because I discovered she was that an outing type.
She would always say ‘let’s go to Ozone naw’ and whenever she mentions this, my heart sparks up, where would I see money to flex this babe na’
One day, I got tired of my excuses, and decided to borrow some money from my close Amigo, to take her to Ozone.
At Ozone. Every activities there caught her fancy, she will be jumping around from one game to another, and I was just following her and sorting the bills. She even went as far as playing basket ball, pes2 and all what she can’t even do. I was SHAA paying and calculating in my mind.
It Is always the guys that makes the relationship tiring
But still they won’t want it to look like they were the one that ruined it
Tunji James: Breakup in a relationship is not about man or woman but about issues that happen before breakup.
Some breakup are caused by lack of communication, support, commitments, care, love, concern etc.
Some are as a result of nagging, constant argument, quarrel etc.
But the most unbearable is infidelity in marriage & adultery. Also, abuse either physical or emotional abuse is another major causes of breakup.
Basically, breakup is not about man or woman but about how issues are handled in a relationship. That a woman cheats on her man doesn’t mean that all other women do that. Likewise, if a man often abuses his wife does not mean all men do same to their wives. It all depends on personality involved in a relationship and how they addressed issues in their relationship
You’ve made a point
Zim: I spent on her without buying water for myself.
That day went, and I was holding ‘gbese’
Few days again, she said baby let’s go to Ozone naw.
Ah! Baby mapami na’ I echoed in my mind.
We went like 4times in 2weeks. Kilode?
The last time I told her that I don’t have money, she was like…
She was like, I’m missing you naw. I want us to meet.
I told her, babe! come to the house naw.
She’d say, no jorh! I don’t want something to happen. And I was like, ehn..ehn! You don’t want something to happen, and you want something to happen to my money abi? e gudu na’ I murmured sha.
Do you know that she actually complained that I’m seeing someone that’s why I don’t take her out again.
She refused to believe that I’m not financially buoyant ni o.
And she was like, Zim I don’t think this can work! You’re not doing what you ought to be doing.
And that ended it.
Max Vincent: Breakup occurs when either the guy or the lady is tired of the relationship.
But when one of the party is patient with the other, breakup is inevitable.
Sometimes is occurs when fate causes it to happen, maybe to save the guy from going into bankruptcy due the lady’s much demand.
Judaisky: If you ask me, the ladies are the problem.
They cause it the most.
Why? Because we know men are polygamous in nature.
Now, who will men have that intercourse with if not with ladies.
If you know this is a problem, why not turn yourself to a solution?
It’s easy for a woman to seduce a guy but not easy for a guy to seduce a woman.
For a man, just touch him anywhere and he will fall but for ladies, you need to take them to shopping, lots of gifts, lots of sweet and promising words even if they are fake, lots of this and that before you push them and they will fall.
The only way a man can stop cheating is if the ladies they want to cheat with say no to them.
And come to think of it, those ladies that they cheat with, aren’t they in a relationship of one kind of the other?
Now tell me, who is really cheating…?
Jaycee: Not all ladies demand for so much
Even some hardly care about your money
But you wouldn’t want that
You always want someone with higher taste.
Voice: My dear If I meet a woman who is not demanding much and loves me..
Why will I think of breakup?
If she love and care for me why will she think of breakup?
It is not possible.
Taekpoet: I pity your condition
Break up is not a new thing
Even if she is not demanding much.
Max Vincent: For real I must say
The fault is from your side
Why would you try to Be what you are not to satisfy a lady .
Before any relationship can go on
You need to be clear about things you are capable of
Did you tell her you are working?
How did you describe yourself to her?
Let her know what you are into
If she can cope then fine
Just because you said yes the first , second and third time
She thinks you have the money to spend.
How can you take her to the cinema 4times a week
PoshGuy: The issue is this some guys just like to go extra mile.
Abeg who send them?
Max Vincent: Well it is just so hard
The world has become something else.
Relationship to some girls has become a medium for raising fund
I don’t just know why !
Taekpoet: And if he is working as bank manager nko?
Na worse case, lol.
Shalom: It’s in their blood
Like a mentality most of them have.
Max Vincent: The truth be told men are too much.
We will always want to cheat and sometimes don’t even know that we are cheating on.
Men are cheat by nature.
Except for a high disciplined man that will not cheat.
Even a poor man with coordination will cheat.
But men always Have real love for one person even when they cheat.
Judaisky: Some ladies see relationship as bank while some guys see relationship as tarven to satisfy their fleshy end.
Zim: The problem is, standing the test of time. Only few ladies can wait.
Sameeha: Problem tie niyen (it’s your own problem)
Yes one yes two yes three
means you have it.
Yes you love her but learn to say no too. Love is not do or die.
Sameeha: It is in male and female
Their is issue with both sex. (a reply to Judaisky)
Taekpoet: Girls just say yes
Without loving the guy
Na big scam joor
I liked her, she like my money.. The time I didn’t shake my body, she said she can’t cope.
Sameeha: What of guys that will ask you out just to add you to the list of their numerous girlfriend?
Max Vincent: Less I forget, I think SEX is the major reason for breakup not money.
When a lady thinks the guy is using her too much she will start to nag in other to find a way to go out of the relationship.
When a guy finds out that the girl is not the doing type he will find a way to excuse himself. So I think the problem is sex.
But both parties agree with that
Who are we to blame now?
Sameeha: Some girls wouldn’t tell guys yes yet
They will start spending
You will be doing like husband
Let’s rule out sex and money.
What else is the advantage of relationship in this era?
Judaisky: If you are a guy that don’t have money, don’t even think of looking for a good long lasting relationship.
If you are a lady and you aren’t a free giver on bed, don’t even think of going into a relationship.
Talking from the blitz of reality, almost all of us don’t believe in true love because of past experiences or what we have heard or seen.
Still on still, the ladies are always the one incharge of every relationship and everything. Forget the fact that God says men are the boss and head, the ladies are much more incharge because when men sip from what’s under the two legs of a woman, one way or the other, he’s already under her.
Who do the men cheat with?
MeWriting: Hum! well said but a man with self control and a sense of direction will stick to his bae if she is really a bae (before anyone else)
Sameeha: The relationship me I will sha say I want
Let’s sit and talk about it maturely
Don’t give me money
Don’t expect any sex in return
Only kiss and hug and
Let’s just be saying I love you and help ourselves move forward
But I can borrow money so can he borrow from me.
Judaisky: Then if you aren’t ready to give him sex, will you also allow him yo get it anytime he wants?
MeWriting: The girl should have noticed you didn’t spend on yourself oh she isn’t observant nìyẹn, you should have called her out and talked sense into her. Not all ladies are like that though
Taekpoet: And if the guy stick to his girl like glue and the girl is not nko?
ObinnaWrites: Breakups ensue in relationship when it is not defined initially by both parties.
Sameeha: Please repeat that thing? (reply to Judaisky)
Women believe what they hear
They fall victim of every nice gesture
Just because you winked at her
She might think you are up for something
Judaisky: Lol, well, some just have that facet but it’s not common.
For someone like me,
I must buy you this and that, write you romantic poems, call and call and call ooo before you even want to know whether I am handsome self..
For fine monkeys like us… It’s well, lol.
Sameeha: Must sex even be attached to dating ni
MeWriting: Humm, you could learn a lot from who you are in a relationship with. But it depends though. If you date mumu, wetin you gain? Lol
Judaisky: Most money even be attached to dating?
Mabasa: Just recently learnt people turn to be sex addicts in relationships
ObinnaWrites: Inability to define the relationship from the beginning:
Most of the failed relationships that led to heartbreak were fundamentally designed to fail. When starting a relationship, it is important you define the relationship, it’s limit and where it will end. A young man may enter a relationship without the intention of marriage, while the lady involved in such hook, may be thinking and concluding marriage. If this is not well defined from the beginning, with time when the obvious will be irresistible, there is bound to be a heartbreak. The same goes to the ladies, a lady may decides to go into a relationship just for protection, to have someone to keep her comfortable for the moment or to pay her bills without necessarily having mind of marriage, while the young man involved may be concluding in his mind yes I have found my missing rib. Suddenly he proposes and she said no “let just be friends “. This to me is a major cause, you see while in some cases, a partner may muster the courage to define it to the other his limits and what he wants but the initial attractions and love at first sight will override his or her judgement only to regret later when it’s too late.
Max Vincent: My dear, Seriously, what you are saying is good but it’s better you stay out of relationship if you can not give sex.
Because the nature of things today is not as it were.
So if you don’t want sex, stay out of relationship.
Like me no girlfriend no sex. then you will be happy with your life.
And manage and define the things you do.
when you are ready you can go in.
But no man will accept that proposal without cheating
ObinnaWrites: Way forward, it is therefore important you discuss your relationship when entering it. It defines the boundaries and strives to stay within them or decline going into it if the conditions did not suit you. It is better not to start than to enter deep and crash hard.
Sameeha: Those our fore mothers that married as a virgin, did something bite them
I am very tired of this generation
Sex is suppose to be after marriage na Ẹ̀dá kún.
As a guy, I think you should find a lady that can take care of herself
Then care of her.
Eazyblaze: Sex can be before marriage but then it depends on the content of the minds going into it
ObinnaWrites: The more we stand to compromise trivial issues like the subject under discussion we will never get better but stay confused.
If God instituted relationship it is necessary we look into His perceptive for safer life and peace of mind, defaulting from His lay down rules problem will not cease manifesting.
Burka: This is one of the unanswerable questions that stand the test of time for decades
Judaisky: In the past, was there something like dating and if there was, was it done the way ladies of nowadays are doing it?
Those that married virgins, were they doing the things you are doing presently.
You that want a relationship without sex, are you also ready to stay without asking for money.
I am not saying you can’t get what you want as an individual hence what you want or crave for aren’t bad.
If you want a relationship without sex, then wait, be patience and the right man who will honor it might just come.
Anytype of relationship you want, sha be patience and work on it, it will come by.
Max Vincent: My dear you know what I am saying is the truth.
One way or the other you may want to do.
And the woman in question say no sex..
Wouldn’t you find elsewhere?
ObinnaWrites: Lack of Commitment and Understanding and immaturity:
Relationships require commitment from both parties. There will be a breakup if overtime only on partner is committed, most times when it is newly started, the depth of commitment from one will not be obvious and therefore be ignored coupled with the initial attractions. But overtime this becomes so open and perhaps they must have gone far. This is capable of wiping out the initial intentions and love.
Additionally, it is possible to remain and work out the differences if there is understanding and maturity. Absence of those can lead to heartbreak.
MeWriting: The two people going into a relationship should know
1.what they are to each other. Are we just friends? Is it a bf/gf relationship
2. What is the purpose for relationship, what are they to expect?
3. What are we doing and what must we not do
4. They must communicate
5. Other people must be aware of whatever is between you if indeed you are proud of it
ObinnaWrites: Immediate gratification:
Some young people go into relationships not because they are in love. In fact some are fully aware that they are not ready for committed relationship but because they want to satisfy their lustful cravings, fail to think thoroughly before leaping into it. All they wanted was to have sex with the other person or to make money from the opposite sex
and can go to any length to achieve that without minding the consequences including the using deception and fake promises of marriage.
Sameeha: Give her things she deserves. Those set of girls appreciate it than the one that will ask ask and ask.
To me, going a relationship to me
Is to keep off numerous toasters.
Being in a relationship is one of the main strength that can make a lady stick to her ‘NO I’m not interested’.
Burka: You have further proved the reason why today’s topic stand the adversity of time
ObinnaWrites: Without good relational skills, you can’t make money. relationship is not a tool for successful business.
Life and empire are built on networks.
Every relationship must be balanced and if it is not balanced then heartbreak is inevitable.
Sameeha: I have walked through hell inside relationship.
It is hotter Than fire
But I still haven’t given up on love.
All the lesson are the needed things, I will sure use them later
Shalom: Hmm, e be like say you were inside Nebuchadnezzar’s fire with the three Hebrew children
I doff my hat oo.
Max Vincent: Chai I feel for you.
I prophecy to you.
You will get a good man like me
Sameeha: With the right person though.
But if you keep coming across bad people, It is because you are good and with time you will find that Right lady.
Judaisky: Greetings children of God.
I want to appreciate you all for making this discussion fruitful.
We pray we will never fall into the wrong hands and hearts in relationships, Amen.
THE GIANT PEN
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